Monday 23rd March 1863
9 O’clock P.M.
I look now and see a family picture. The night is rather warm, consequently the fire has nearly burnt to ashes. The table is in the middle of the floor with a bright lamp burning upon it. Pa is sitting upon one side reading, his usual occupation, myself upon the other writing, and Ma in the corner knitting and rocking. Upon the table is laying my French books, “Charles 12th”, and dictionary with Barkers Philosophy. I have just finished reciting my lessons to Pa. But the circle is not complete. Let me ask myself the question “If a stranger were to pass by and look in, would he say that our little circle had been broken?” Probably, he would not think of it, but if he could look into our hearts (and some times into my mother’s eyes when all is quiet around her and she sits knitting in the corner), he would know that something had happened. Once we were a gay and happy family – once there was six of us now there is three left at home. Two have been taken, one is still battling for “freedom”. Oh God send him back to us, spare him I pray! How I am blessed, both parents are sparred me and how I hope I live to bless them. I wonder if I will ever marry or if I will always be simple “Nannie Haskins”. If I do marry, I wonder who it will be – if it will be a happy marriage, if the man will be poor or rich, handsome or ugly – in short a “clod pole or a tadpole”. Good night my clod pole or tadpole which ever you may be. At A Later Hour Now I am in my own room editing by my little lamp. I read what I wrote before I left Ma’s room and see how silly I am. It is a blessed thing that no one will see this book but myself. For one moment I run on a sad strain, the next I dash off on something about marrying. I am a simpleton any way and I am afraid I will never be any thing else. We heard from brother a few days ago. He has had the “small pox” in a very light form, is now well, and has returned to the regiment. The weather is unpleasant again. I took a new piece today on the piano “Le Reve”. It is a very beautiful as well a difficult thing. I practiced with Annie Heillsman this evening. She is Mattie’s cousin who is going to school with her. I think she is one of the nicest girls I ever saw. She is not at all pretty – in any estimation looks do not constitute beauty. Such beautiful rosy cheeks she has and elegant eyes, neither her mouth nor her nose are pretty. Some would admire her hair, but I do not. It is a real flaxen. So far as I have seen her, I think I will admire her more than I do Mattie though I love the latter dearly. I do not admire all those whom I love. Miserable, miserable hand will I never learn to write. Capt. Heiek Johnson has been recaptured near Nashville in ladies clothes at Mr. Dartehes. He has been sent to Fortress Monroe to be exchanged. I am thinking they will send hem where he don’t want to go – to the army. I ought not to say that. However, no one will ever see it. We have just given the Yanks a whipping at Fort Hudson. Report says they are fighting at Murfreesboro.

Thursday 19th of March 1863

Last Sunday evening Major Bailey, one of the oldest citizens of Clarksville, departed this life. Monday at 3 o’clock P.M. his funeral was preached at the Presbyterian Church by the Rev. F. D. Wadlan. The house was crowded to overflowing. He was a peaceable citizen, a kind father, and a devoted husband. What more could be said of man! Every few days there is a new death to be chronicled upon the record Time. When this war is over, it will be astonishing to look around and see the many vacant places. Man is like a flower, in the morning he bloometh but in the evening he fadeth.

I have before spoken of the prisoners who were taken near here. They were taken to Nashville where they were guarded in the Market House. By bribing the guard, they made their escape. One of them disguised himself and went back into the city to see if any of them were recaptured, but it was not so, and he came home (which is not far from here). Some of his relations came up here and whispered it around among a few friends, but it will get out soon. Thank fortune so far none have been retaken, and how I do pray that they will not be. The many daring feats that will be enacted during this war; not half will ever be heard of.

Last night Mrs. Blotch and husband and brother, Mrs. Settle, Mrs. Fauntleroy, and Sam Yance came up after tea. Miss Margaret spent the night with me. We had splendid music. Miss Margaret played on the piano, Mrs. Blotch on the violin, and young Mr. B. on the flutina. Miss Margaret and myself sang several pieces together.

Tuesday March 10th, 1863

Another rainy day. I do wish it would stop raining, and we could have some pretty weather. Yesterday was a beautiful day, but that is about all the sunshine we have at a time.

Well the party is over, and I am glad of it, and I didn’t go either, but I was tempted for I went and helped Mrs. McKeage all day, made her custard and set the table. Yes I set it all myself and Miss Maria said I had a great deal of taste and that she would know who to send for to help her. Miss Maria said she did not only want me to come down that night, but she was anxious. She wanted to send for my dress and to remain there all night, but I came home and stayed here. I would like to have gone down any other time for I know I would have enjoyed myself so much. I always do down there. Of course, she wanted to know my excuse for not coming, but I could not give it.

I have not written in here for a week. We have been having bad weather ever since, until yesterday which was a beautiful day, but last night it commenced raining again, and today it is very unpleasant. Mr Webb of Hopkinsville came to preach for us Sunday. He has been staying here and his little girl who is very noisy and is therefore very troublesome to me. Last night little Bettie McDaniel came and stayed with her. This morning Suddie came before breakfast and is here yet. They keep so much noise it is a perfect “bedlam.”